i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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