The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
