I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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