I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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