my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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