I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
