I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Terrible idea I love it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize