My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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