She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize