we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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