Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
