Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize