omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
