Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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