Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
