what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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