Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
