I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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