Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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