that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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