Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
