It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
