I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
false alarm. still invincible.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
