everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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