Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize