so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
