Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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