Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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