That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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