fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
