just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
the raccoons are back...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
