I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
