God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
