new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Watching her eat just hurts me
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
