Can Purell be used as lube?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
