WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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