If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
