i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
