I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to walk on stilts...naked
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
