Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
