so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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