A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
