Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she smelled like a LAN party
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
