I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
