Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
