So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
