i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In America we eat man semen.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
