I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
