How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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