I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
