We named our party play list daddy issues
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
