Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize