I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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