Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize