Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hippo gnu deer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
