evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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