i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
