she woke up with a sticky ear
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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