We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
