yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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