Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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