I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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