We're facebook friends in real life
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
