Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
