We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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