That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Barsexuality is the new black.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
