He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
