I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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