Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
